I had to heal my relationship with food & my body before I could help anyone else
Mindful Eating Changed My Life
Let me Tell you A shorT(ISH) Story…
First I’ll start with the happy ending! Because we all LOVE happy endings. Today I wake up most mornings and can’t wait to jump out of bed and start my day. I literally can’t fucking wait! I have so much to be grateful for and I want to make the most out of every waking moment. I’ve finally learned how to take care of my body and my mind so that I feel energized, strong, joyful AF, and full of optimism (spoiler alert: a few years ago I was drowning my sorrows in bottles of cheap red wine and dark organic chocolate).
Each day I lean into my personal freedom formula:
• mindfulness practices to steady and clear my mind
• eating food that fuels my body and brain (sometimes that’s a cupcake!)
• movement that reduces anxiety and helps me be strong and flexible
My daily practices are my pillars for a happier and healthier life. Without them, I have nothing. I know I’ll slip back into the trembling anxious version of myself where I self-medicate with food & alcohol AND I trade all things related to self-care for ruminating, isolation and depression. I thank the Universe this is no longer my life…
Flash back to a few years ago:
My life was in chaos and I was a fucking mess! After my 9 year relationship abruptly ended, I found myself eating and drinking alone in the dark to drown my anxiety and sadness. I had sell my house, relocate my very sad kids, and figure out how to start life over again at age 50. Each morning, the alarm on my phone would go off and I’d swipe snooze over and over again until one of my kids or the dog woke me up. I’d drag my ass out of bed, and my mind was immediately flooded with guilt and shame from what I ate and drank the night before. The words “I hate myself. I hate my life” would whisper in my brain as start chugging cup after cup of coffee to get enough energy to start the day I was already dreading.
I was too self-absorbed in my anxiety, grief, and self-loathing to give a shit about the consequences my behaviors were having on my body, mind, and my relationships with my kids. Finally after what felt like months, I sold the house, paid back people I had to borrow money from to survive, and we moved to a little place to start over again. I had a glimmer of hope that things could get better but I continued my nightly self-medication with food and wine (a lot less but still too much).
Then came the wake up call that changed everything.
Side note: people have told me that I care too much about how I look. I think it is more that I have so much of my own body shame and judgment (dysmorphia disorder) that it can appear as being vain. Here is why I’m telling you this: my big shifts in my behaviors came AFTER someone made a comment about my body.
Exploring my new neighborhood, I treated myself to a manicure and the young women doing my nails asked me the dreaded question that NO 50 year old woman wants to be asked: “When is your baby due?”
As shocked and freaked out as I was by this innocent person’s question, it was the wake up call from the Universe I needed. I’d been ignoring all the nudges up until then. This comment was the kick in the ass I needed to finally fix my relationship with food, my body, and to learn to deal with my emotions without food or booze.
To be 100% honest, I did NOT immediately start doing what healed me and continues to heal me. First, I tried super restrictive diets hoping they would contain the formula that would shrink my belly and finally change how I was eating (and drinking). But the diets left me feeling hungry, weak, irritable, and more likely to run to my kid’s snack cabinet after a day of being “good”. After I got burnt out from dieting, I realized I had to come clean with myself and admit I was an emotional eater (and drinker). This was something very hard for me to do since as a therapist, my job is to help people deal with their life problems and I couldn’t fix my own.
Eventually I discovered the system I needed to stop the insane food fights I was having almost ever night.
Once I healed myself, I decided to dedicate my therapy practice 100% to helping women like me and you. I help you take back control of your life by transforming your relationship with food and your body, while giving you REAL solutions for dealing with the emotions that send you running for the fridge.
if I can do it, and my clients can do it, you can too! It all starts my scheduling your free session HERE.